The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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