My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
