my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Randomize
