Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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