Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
