Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
