i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
