coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
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