I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize
