I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Found your dick twin last night
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
