We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
