chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Randomize
