There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
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