so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
