Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
