Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
