would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
