I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
