he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
NoShamevember. You game?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
