Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
