yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
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