There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
