I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
