i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
