Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
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