I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
