I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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