She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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