Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
