yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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