I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
