She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Randomize
