I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
you would pick up someone in the library
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
