I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
