ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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