I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Randomize