I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize