Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
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