My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
