Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
