Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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