its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Someone came in the potted fern
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
