DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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