I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Randomize
