Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize
