Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
