My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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