So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
