We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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