and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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