you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
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