he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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